wesawbears:

Ok, this is for everyone who said they wanted A/B/O Jerejean. It’s totally safe for work, but it’s under a cut because I know it gives a lot of people pause and also because it’s long af. I hope you enjoy, and if you want a fic expanding on something in this universe, let me know because I’ll happily write it!

Keep reading

Open When

knox-moreau:

Open when you need reassurance of the importance of your existence.

Jean,

You are important to me. You are important to Laila and Sara. You are important to everyone on the team. You are important to everyone you’ve met, in one way or another. Do you believe in fate, Jean? Because I do. And just think, of all the good things that wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t here. You may be telling yourself, what about all the bad things I might cause? I’m not going to tell you that couldn’t happen, because in reality it could. But I’m going to tell you, that it’s up to you whether or not you forgive yourself. Whether or not you forgive your mistakes and continue with your life. Did you know I wasn’t always this positive? Weird, huh? I’ll tell you a little secret, Jean. I’m on medication for depression. It’s not actually much of a secret because the whole team knows, but I was originally scared to tell you. I guess because I wanted to be positive for you, but I came to realize depression doesn’t mean you always have to be negative. You can be positive, Jean. Maybe not in this moment, but eventually. Eventually could be a second from now, a minute from now, months from now, a year from now. But you’ll be happy. And I hope I get to see the day you are.

Open when you feel you are a monster.

Jean,

On this certain topic, I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong. I know that sounds bad, but if you feel you are a monster, I cannot invalidate your feelings. You can feel a lot of things. I wouldn’t invalidate you if you felt happy, right? But the point I’m going to make is through my own opinion. You don’t have to believe this, but I’d like for you to know that I do. You’re not a monster. Not to me. To me, you are a French boy who’s got scars and bruises from past battles, and you’re healing. You are healing, Jean. Isn’t that a wonderful thing, healing? I can tell you from my experience, it doesn’t always feel nice in the moment. But one day, you’ll have that moment, where you’ll sit there with an epiphany: you are healing. You are making progress. You are proud of yourself for getting through this. Just know in that moment, I am proud of you too.

Open when you’re on that ledge.

Mon amie,

Is that the French word for ‘my friend’? I hope so. (I totally didn’t use google translate to look it up.) For this one, I just wanted to tell you, whatever your thinking, stop for a moment. I know that’s hard, believe me, I’ve been there. But I want you to find a quiet place where you feel safe. Now, try to think of your favorite memory. Once you have that in your head, think of your favorite activity. Do that activity. Think of your favorite song. Listen to it. Take a day to take care of yourself. You deserve it, Jean. You deserve great things.

Open when your mind is back at the Nest.

Mon cher ami,

Before I say anything else, I’d just like to say this: I am so proud of you. I am so proud of how far you’ve come. I am so proud of how strong you’ve become. I am so proud of you for opening this letter even when you feel hopeless. Did anyone ever tell you what I used to do when my mind was stuck in a dark place? I would sit there and think or speak to myself and repeat the sentences: I am not there. I am here. I am safe. It sounds a little ridiculous, I know. But you want to know something else? It helped. Maybe you could give it a try if you’d like because it’s true. You aren’t there, Jean. And you never have to go back. You are here. You are safe.

Open when you want to destroy everything in sight.

Mon cher,

Instead of destroying things, think of things you wouldn’t want to destroy. There might not be many, but even one could work. Think about it. Think of me, even. Sometimes, when I get angry (Jeremy Knox? Angry? Shocking!), I squeeze a stress ball or hold ice in my palm. It helps a lot of the time for me, although what works varies from person to person. But I’ll tell you one thing: I think of you to help me feel better.

Open when you’re ready.

Mon ange,

I’ll keep this one simple. And I’ll be honest, I’m scared as hell right now to be writing this. But here’s the point: I am in love with you, Jean Moreau.

petalloso:

“How do you pronounce jorts?” Neil asks.

Jean doesn’t say anything for a moment but brings a hand up to his chin and rubs there in thought. It takes another several moments for him to come to a conclusion, but when he does, he is sound and sure and certain.

“Jõüřťş,” he says.

Neil asks him to say it again. Jõüřťş Jõüřťş Jõüřťş.

“Jõüřťş,” he finally says, tongue working through the word and it’s strange but beautiful pronunciation. He loves the word. He has never heard a more lovely word in his life.

“Jõüřťş!” He screams to the world, because everyone should hear it and everyone should know, just the beauty that it is.

alone

jeansmoraeu:

Jean Moreau is alone. 

Alone is forbidden. Alone is a hand yanking his hair hard and the word please dying in his throat, because alone means he isn’t watching his partner’s back, alone means Riko will be angry.

 At the moment, Jean Moreau is alone in the frozen food aisle of the grocery store. at the moment, and from now on, as Jean must remind himself, Riko is gone. Riko is going to stay gone. Jean fears the feelings of alone will stay as well. 

The handle on the refrigerator is cold when Jean reaches out, and he allows himself a second to breathe, breathe, remember, nothing will happen anymore. 

Nothing happens. Nothing will happen, and yet the fear has made a home in his body after all the years. A playful shove received too rough, a group of people dressed all in black, and Jean has to close his eyes and dig his scarred fingers into his thighs. 

Right now, alone is already threatening this reaction over him. His hand tightens around cold metal once more. 

And then the phone in his pocket buzzes. Jean pulls it out hesitantly, fingers numb as he unlocks it. 

Jeremy. 

Laila wants peanut butter ice cream if they have it, Alvarez demands strawberry. I’ll eat whatever you pick, sunshine. 

If it were anyone else, Jean would assume sunshine is an ironic term, but not with Jeremy Knox. Jeremy Knox, possibly the only man that truly embodies sunshine, sees a light somewhere inside of Jean. 

And I’m proud of you.

Oh. 

Jean can’t remember the last time he was proud of himself, let alone someone else was proud of him. He’s heard fucking work harder, Moreau, better be perfect next time or you’ll regret it, you don’t deserve this court, but never I’m proud of you. 

It’s an odd feeling. 

His fingers tap out a response: Got it. Almost done.

It needs more. 

Thank you. 

Jean hits send, slides his phone back into his pocket, and pulls three cartons of ice cream from the shelf. 

Instead of remembering the consequences of alone, Jean repeats the words proud of you in his head until he’s back with the others. 

When he’s there, and Laila and Alvarez run to greet him, and Jeremy grins like he’s hung the moon, the phrase shifts in Jean’s head. I am proud of my progress, I am proud of my efforts. I am proud of myself.

And it’s the truth.

vintersins:

• imagine when jeremy and jean have a fight, they ignore each other instead of lashing out.
  
• so one time they had this really huge fight before they sleep, and jer and jean sleeps back to back instead of cuddling (i would like to think they share the same bed even if they fight, so fight me on this!!!!)
• but then jeremy being jeremy, can’t stand tensions and anger. so he turns around to face jean’s back, and he sees jean’s shoulders shaking silently. 
• so jeremy gently reaches out to jean, and places a hand on his shoulder as a silent gesture.
• jean stiffens at first, then realizes its jeremy, so he relaxes against jeremy’s touch, never mind that they had a huge fight.
• so jeremy gently coaxes jean to turn around with his hands, and jean lets him be pulled. 
• its dark in their room, but jeremy reaches up to jean’s face to wipe away the tears that he knows are there, and jean just lets him be. 
• when jer doesn’t move his hand away, jean just lets jer cradle his face. 
• and Jeremy Knox is so In Love with his french bean, he leans up and kisses jean softly.
• jeremy can feel jean’s shaky breaths when they break away, and he’s sorry that it’s his fault they fought this time round. he didn’t mean to say things that would have brought back bad memories. 
• jeremy presses a kiss to jean’s forehead as a silent apology, and jean releases a shuddering breath as he wraps his arms around jeremy.
• maybe they’ll speak about their fight in the morning. but for now, jean is content with being okay with jeremy again.